Online dating: Six tried and tested apps

I was the Goldilocks of online dating. I had been single for six years and I enjoyed that fact. But as my twenty-ninth birthday loomed I thought I should do something about this meeting-someone-of-the-male-gender business.

You see, the real world wasn’t cutting it, dating-wise. All the men at work were married (that’s not a generalisation, they were all married), I’d already exhausted my friends-of-friends supply and my interest in the bar scene had significantly diminished.

I’d pondered going online before, aware that the stigma had well and truly dissolved, but never made the leap.

What was a girl to do on a Saturday night after a bottle of Pinot? Join my first dating app, that’s what! The fact I was not aware of at the time, was that I would bounce from app to app for the next twelve months. I would hear of success on a new one and chase it, like a storm chaser following a tornado, excited and vaguely terrified I was heading toward my untimely death.

During my twelve month stint online I had some truly awful and awkward dates. But I also had some lovely ones too. As much as my experience was time consuming and emotionally draining, I’m glad I stuck it out and made it through the following six apps.

I’m glad because it was on the last one where I met the most wonderful man I could have ever imagined. And he is the reason I’m off the apps, but will always be a cheerleader for them.

Here are the apps (and in the order I tried them), but please note this is my experience only:

RSVP:

I assumed there would be less creeps on here because contacting someone costs money. But I was very wrong. I received message after message from significantly older men asking if I wanted to be ‘taken care of’. I assumed they meant as a sugar-daddy, not a mafia hitman kind of way.

I did go on some dates with the ‘nice’ seeming men, but nothing panned out. Especially not with the surfing stoner who got absolutely wasted on our first meeting and had to be helped to a taxi. After a few months on RSVP I quit my subscription.

Tinder:

Ok, let’s get something straight. Tinder is not just for hook ups. It’s also for matching and chatting with guys for days and weeks and never actually meeting them. Ever.

This was the problem I, and several of my girlfriends, were having. We would match (exciting) and get chatting (even more exciting) and then nothing. The only guy I did meet up with had lied about his age and was a decade younger than me. I didn’t want to seem ageist, but he mentioned that he had never voted. I had to leave. I started to find the app hard work and deleted it.

Eharmony:

So. Many. Questions. I know their patented matching system sounds great on the commercials (that’s how they dragged me in), but it took a solid day and half to complete their questionnaire (including food and nap breaks). I knew the men on here would be ready for commitment, that’s what the whole brand is based on, but I didn’t know how much:

This is how my first date went with an Eharmony member:

Sits down in a café in Melbourne

Dude: It’s nice to meet you.

Me: You too!

Dude: I picked this place because it has a cool family vibe. Don’t you think?

Me: Yeah, I suppose it does.

Looks around uncomfortably

Dude: Do you see yourself settling down with marriage and kids soon?

Looks longingly at the coffee machine

Me: Can I order my espresso first?

And that was the end of my Eharmony experience. Again, I quit my subscription (not before saving the detailed relationship analysis they gave me in response to my questionnaire).

Bumble:

This is a free app where, if you are matched, it is the women who have to initiate conversations. I thought this would be my Holy Grail and safe haven. Only problem? There was not enough men! Before I knew it, I had swiped through them all. I deleted the app a week later. Nice idea though.

Happn:

When you cross paths/are in the same vicinity as someone else with this free app, they come up in your feed and it tells you exactly where it happened. Then the swiping and matching occurs.

Slightly stalkerish, but I get the point. I liked the accidental nature of it, until my housemate Megs and I were matching with men who were simply driving past our house.

The same man tried to win us both over (she was first, I was sloppy seconds) by detailing his love for ‘The Artist’ formally known as Prince and his immense record collection. Neither of us wanted this guy, but it did reveal a problem. We were forced to decide who got which guy when we both matched at home. This was far too much trouble and we both deleted the app a few weeks later.

Plenty of Fish:

Good Lord, there were indeed plenty of fish in this sea. This one came recommended from a friend. There was a variety of men on there and it was easy to use. The downside? This free app, unlike the other free ones on this list, allows ANYONE to chat to you and matching is not required. I know that sounds nice and friendly, but it is not. It’s a deluge.

But I weathered the storm of messages (nothing to do with looks or anything, just the fact that I’m a human woman on there) and a few weeks later started talking with some really nice guys. Some I dated and some I didn’t, but it was generally a pleasant experience. Then things kicked into overdrive and I noticed my soon-to-be partner. We chatted and dated and then decided to take ourselves off the site. It had done its job. Now we’re living together and I couldn’t be more grateful to the online dating world.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I am aware of several RSVP and Tinder weddings and that’s amazing! It’s just not the experience I had. I encourage you to Goldilocks-it like I did and find one that’s just right.

Online dating tips:

• Don’t reveal super personal stuff online
• Be honest in your profile, with descriptions and photos.
• Be careful when meeting for the first time, let someone know who you are meeting and where.
• Be kind to people you are not interested in. It’s hard enough to put ourselves out there.
• Persistence is required.
• Don’t let one (or a few) bad experiences deter you.

I have plenty of dating stories, it would be impossible to share them all here. Join in the conversation and share a bad date story below!