The Bachelor Australia: Finale recap

The one with the winner

We open with even more flashbacks of the whole season.

Yeah, I was there the first time around, you’re wasting my time.

They took eight minutes to do this. That’s eight minutes I’m never getting back!

Ok, who’s it gonna be?

Mama and sister Richie are in Bali, they’re ready to give their input into his decision. Please, we all know he’ll tell them who he wants and they’ll say, “as long as your happy.” Sigh.

Alex

He collects Alex….she’s wearing a little tea dress. Very Mum appropriate. No short shorts like yesterday?

They all meet and it’s all fake smiles and fake laughs…mostly Richie’s.

Alex is preparing to drop the baby bomb…

She does and Mama Richie says “that’s interesting.” Bahahahaha, that’s what my mother says to me when I arrive at her place hungover.

But isn’t Mama Richie a single mother? Hmmm.

Mama Richie and Alex go for a quick chat. It’s all about the kid.

MR: “How much have you explained to him about what you expect him to do?”

Alex: “I didn’t want to scare him off.”

Fair call, love.

They talk about Melbourne Vs. Perth and Alex admits she would probably move if she had to. That’s more than Olena could manage last night.

The meeting ends quick sticks after that.

RR asks, “What do you think?”

Mama Rich calls him “Richard” and we all know he’s in trouble. She wants to know what he thinks about the instant family thing. RR says nice things about being a good role model and treating women well. Blah Blah Blah.

Nikki

They all say hi and Nikki is speaking a mile a minute. She’s so nervous and possibly peeing her pants.

Sister Richie: “Have you ever been in a serious relationship?”

Awkward silence… then Nikki explains her 12 year relationship while Mama and Sister try to not to seem judgey. They’re not doing too well with that.

Mama Richie says “Ms Chill is turning into Ms. Grill coz I’m gonna grill you.” WTF?

They go for their grill session and Mama Rich asks if Nikki is on the rebound.

She says she’s not and she’s had plenty of time to get to know herself again. I think I read that in a self-help book somewhere.

Mama Rich: “Are you a basket case?” OMG what?

Nikki talks calmly for a while and manages to convince the Mama that she is not, in fact, a basket case.

Mama says she thinks Nikki will fit into the family well. Ok, we know who the fave is so far…

Now it’s time to hear from them:

Sister Richie: “I don’t know who to pick.” Then what are you doing there??

Mama Richie: “Do what’s right for you.”

I knew they’d do that! Can you say cop out?

Last date with Nikki

Up in the helicopter they take a tour and smooch.

Then they land to take a look at a temple and some monkeys. Those little monkeys are so cute! Date one of them Nikki!

RR is jealous of all the attention the monkeys are giving her. He mentions again how well she’ll fit in with the family.

That’s it, he’s got nothing else to say? This is not looking good.

Now it’s couch time and they get into the serious chat.

Nikki: “I would make you very happy, I think.”

RR looks like he’s gonna vom and then she tells him she loves him and he covers his awkwardness by smooching her.

Last date with Alex

They board a yacht set sail.

He pours her some champers….I should have kept a champagne count over this series.

Alex brings up his Mama’s concerns. She talks about the ‘bad days’ of being a Mum. RR’s face drops. I don’t know if it’s because he’s never thought about the reality of children, or if it’s just editing.

Damn you Channel 10!  I’ve lost all faith in the editing process!

They jump into the water and splash and smooch.

Now it’s couch time and Alex is gonna use the L word…Life insurance!

Kidding… Love, she’s going to tell him she loves him.

But first, she whips out the poem from the first night they met. THEN she says I love you and RR’s face lights up. There it is, she’s got it in the bag

 

Now we’re watching them all get ready while they narrate their feelings.

Channel 10 insert one last shirtless pic of RR, just for good measure.

He walks onto his balcony and pulls a RING OUT OF HIS POCKET.

You know you don’t have to propose, right?

Both ladies are on their way there and RR catches up with Osh.

Osh: “Are you in love?”

RR: “I am, Osh, I am.”

Awwwww.

The first lady arrives… It’s Nikki.

She chats to Osh first. Get out of her way Osh!

She walks down to see him and he forces a smile.

He talks a lot about their relationship and mentions how ‘easy’ it would be.

BUT

he needs to follow his heart and it’s with ALEX.

We all knew it! Mama Richie is going to to pissed.

Nikki is handling it like a trooper and saves her tears for the car ride.

This is Nikki after that chat

Giphy

We love you Nikki!!

And now, the maiden of the white rose, arrives and chats to Osh. Tell me more, Osh. What’s new with your hair? Anything to stop the lovefest that’s coming…

She makes her way down to RR, slowly coz that dress is awks.

RR is talking about the how close they are and what he wants in a woman. Then he says he thinks he’s man enough to be there for her and the kid.

“Following my heart has led me to you. I love you Alex.”

He pulls out the ring, but not as an engagement ring.

Then they smooch and the camera pans away… Where is my wine?

The Bachelorette starts next week, see you then 😉

 

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All images courtesy of Channel 10 and The Bachelor Facebook